In space, no one can hear you do it, but what if you’re just too darn scared to do it in the first place? These questions are not answered in the 1984 film Too Scared to Scream. The film has a pretty stacked cast, though no one really knew that at the time it was initially filmed in 1981. Thematically, it is… ‘80s. Hey, I love the fashion; I’m perfectly willing to admit society has made great strides since then.
Buy it on Amazon.
Too Scared to Scream – The Film
This is a pretty standard thriller/slasher where people in a swanky New York high-rise are being murdered. The cop investigating the murders decides the best course of action is to endanger a cop he’s sleeping with by moving her into the building as bait. Did I mention the ‘80s? The identity of the murderer is pure 80s gay panic material, so you’ve been warned on that front. This is one of those films that I need to reiterate that I am only promoting for the fashion, not the rest of the content.
Too Scared to Scream – The Furs
And what lovely furs they are… We open with Cynthia Oberman (Victoria Bass) hopping into a limo with her boyfriend, wearing a gray coat with an enormous fox fur trim. This is 100% the best thing in the movie, and you get it right at the start before the credits finish.
You get a lot of it, too. It is on screen for over 2 minutes, with great closeups, and it is easily the longest appearing fur in the film.
If you’re thinking that Cynthia here is getting a lot of attention for the opening sequence of a slasher movie, your instincts are correct. Cinematically, I could argue the amount of time reeks of padding, but that is fine with me if you’re padding your film with this dyed fox fur.
Cynthia passes by a couple of the film’s red herrings, perhaps the only reason she hangs around so long. That includes Lovejoy, er, Ian McShane as the doorman. It saddens me to realize Lovejoy jokes are no longer culturally relevant.
Cynthia also chats with her parrot, but I don’t think he’s a suspect.
Again, Cynthia is not the “final girl” of Too Scared to Scream, and her end arrives when she puts that lovely coat away. Suffice to say, the killer is “in the closet.” Cue hardest eye roll imaginable.
Ready to enjoy a pattern? That would be setting up the next victim while adjacent to furs. In this case, we will spend some time with Nadine (Karen Rushmore), who is doing some modeling between escort gigs. She is among the models in this scene (left) but not the one wearing the silver fox. She’s not in the credits, so no idea who she is.
Nadine is out modeling a stole that’s probably a silver fox. It’s not well filmed, but it’s there.
I shouldn’t, but for the sake of “completeness,” Nadine returns to the building wearing… this. Whatever the hell it is, there you go. Shortly thereafter she’s murdered. Coincidence? Yeah, probably. It is included in the runtime figures, but it’s pretty short and doesn’t really throw it off if you wish to ignore it.
Again, Nadine isn’t the final girl, and she has the honor of being discovered by another fur wearer in a leather coat with a blush fox collar. She’s one of the models at the table above, beside Miss Silver Fox. According to the credits, this is Adrienne Howard.
I presume she confiscated this coat from one of her 80s hooker busts.
You should probably just turn it off right there. That’s it for the furs, and everything is downhill from there. The best fur is right upfront, so you don’t have to waste much time holding down the ole fast forward key. Not only that, the colossal fox collar is well shot and nicely showcased. The rest of the furs are excellent additions and pump the runtime to almost 7 minutes, providing a decent 7%.
Fur Runtime: approx 7 minutes
Film Runtime: 99 minutes
On-Screen Fur Ratio: 7%
Find-a-Fur: Too Scared to Scream, 1984
(all times are approximate)
- 04:35 – 9:05 the big fox collar/trim
- 11:10 – ”
- 47:10 – 49:50 silver fox older lady + additional on models
- 50:50 – ? faux, knit, maybe lamb, no idea
- 57:20 – fox collared leather jacket + quick shot at the police station in the following scene
- 1:20:00 – 22:20 – red fox stroller