We start with a couple of furs, one we will be seeing quite a bit of throughout the film. First up is faux Sophia Loren (Mãdãlina Ghenea) in a full-length lynx coat that is seen very briefly and, sadly, never in a particularly close shot.

Observing faux Loren from across the street is faux Patrizia Reggiani (Lady Gaga), in the sadly rather pedestrian brown mink coat that will be seen more throughout the film.

Dose number two of brown mink blandness occurs quickly, as Patrizia finds some fake Gucci merch. 

I could probably get over having the most high-profile fur in the movie being that mink, but Ridley Scott really just slaps me in the face with this. That’s Lady Gaga in a blue fox fur stroller on your right, in a shot that lasts about 4 seconds. That is 4 seconds in a one-and-a-half-minute scene of the two doofuses on the left chatting while, in the background, Patrizia is suggested to be eavesdropping. She is barely visible with this one, notable, four-second exception. This is the only point you really see the blue fox, except for an equally brief reaction shot of Patrizia at a show with a couple of inches of the coat visible on the chair behind her.

There is some redemption ahead. Patrizia joins Kylo (don’t @ me, I don’t care) at a ski resort for a holiday, and we get a couple of decent items. Up first is the chinchilla jacket and fox hat combo that hit the net early when filming was underway. 

Not a lot of closeups with the chinchilla except the previous one, mostly wider long or medium views like this before it vanishes through the magic of editing.

The dinner scene plays out, and Patrizia keeps the fox hat on. 

At the dinner scene, Patricia clocks faux Paola Franchi (Camille Cottin) as having a slight interest in Kylo and proceeds to do the jealous wife bit while wearing this fetching silver fox fur hat. This is pretty much the fur fashion plateau of the movie, and it’s all downhill from here.

Just to muddy the reference pool, Patrizia checks to verify if there is, in fact, a spoon.

The vacation ends when Kylo kicks Patrizia to the curb. She just had to pack the mink, I guess. At least the black fox hat provides a note of interest. I’d be depressed in that mink too, sister.

Hey, the mink is back. Again. She tries to get Kylo back wearing this. It doesn’t go well. Obviously.

Kylo doesn’t take her back because she’s wearing that boring ass mink, so Patrizia has him killed. The film leaves on a low point with Patrizia arriving under a crush of paparazzi (hey, there’s a song about that). She wears this leather jacket. I’m going to give it the benefit of the doubt and say it has a sheared fur or maybe mouton collar, and it’s even less attractive than the mink.