Our tour of Italy continues with a film destined to make my inner middle-schooler giggle: Asso. The title translates to “Ace,” and more mature individuals would have used that name. Personally, I would have gone with “Pretty Lady Wears A Lot of Furs.”
Asso – The Film
Ahem, “Ace” (Adriano Celentano), the greatest poker player in the world, decides to get married and settle down, but not before one more game. He wins a ton of money and an assassin. Dead but still visible to his widowed bride (Edwige Fenech), he sets out to ensure she's taken care of by finding her a good husband. Thanks, 1981. There's more, but that's the basics.
Asso – The Furs
We open on the soon-to-be unhappy couple. 70s sex symbol Edwige Fenech stars as Silvia, Ace's bride and the one who is basically a fashion plate for the film's entire runtime. She starts off slow with this probably ermine fur bolero jacket.
Up next is a controversial entry because it's not technically fur, but I'm calling “close enough” on this red feather stole. Also, everyone needs more photos of Edwige Fenech in their lives.
There's an extra in a fox jacket at a racetrack scene. I feel compelled to point out that the plot centers around Ace trying to ensure Silvia is “taken care of.” Still, she's never presented as anything other than exceptionally well off. Alexis Carrington looks on and quickly scribbles notes on what to wear when she shows up in Denver.
And, really, why we're all here: Edwige Fenech in a white fox fur hat and stole.
This lovely ensemble graces our screens for almost two full minutes.
Asso is actually a conceptual alternate reality piece that shows us a fantastical world where the doofus on the right needs to be convinced to get with Edwige Fenech.
We're not even done yet. Later, Silvia shows up briefly in this probably sheared mink or beaver.
Finally, we end with some more feathers. The movie gets a lot of leeway for that white fox outfit. I could say something dumb like, “It looks good on Edwige Fenech, at least.” But that statement applies to pretty much anything.
We've come to the ass end of the update. Asso is a pretty good fur fashion film, both in quality and runtime. The white fox fur hat and stole is easily the marquee fur, getting the attention it deserves. The supporting entries are acceptable and bulk it up to nine-and-a-half minutes of fur fashion screen time. And, if you're going to put furs on anyone, Edwige Fenech is a pretty damn fine choice. I can quibble with the feathers, because they should have been fox, but that's about it.
Fur Runtime: approx 9.5 minutes
Film Runtime: 90 minutes
On-Screen Fur Ratio: 10%
(all time codes are approximate)
- 05:38 – holding ermine (1 sec)
- 06:30 – wearing ermine
- 32:00 – 33:00 – silver fox stole
- 39:00 – 40:00 – feather stole
- 41:10 – ”
- 45:18 – furs passing by
- 47:25 – red feather stole
- 48:00 – furs bystanders
- 51:45 – white fur, not worn
- 58:45 – 1:01:14 – white fox hat and stole
- 1:03:10 – 1:04:30 – mink coat
- 1:25:15 – 1:29:20 – black feather wrap