Hey, I got the right controversial Monroe “biopic” this time. I made light of the fact that Norma Jean and Marylin was so long, and this is even longer. All the better to draw out the agony, I suppose. So let’s dissect one of the least controversial aspects of Blonde: the real fur fashion.

Blonde – The Film

The movie is based on a book that does not claim to be a biography but rather a fictionalized account of the life of Marilyn Monroe. It’s also our first “adult” film, I think, in so far as it is officially rated NC-17. Trust me, if you want an “adult movie” you can enjoy, try The Bitch instead, as ‘70s sleaze, it’s less offensive. Here you just get rape and abortions. 

Blonde – The Furs

It’s all Anna De Armas all the time in this one. And it’s (almost) all white fox fur all the time. With a couple of exceptions, the furs seen on-screen the most are both white fox wraps/stoles. 

The exceptions include a white mink wrap seen in both an onscreen shot and in the theatre when she’s watching the movie. A black mink coat seen breifly. And a version of the black feather-trimmed outfit she wears in Some Like It Hot. 

The white fox wraps are seen in similar film premier arrival scenes. The first for Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, and the second for Some Like It Hot. 

The film eschews the usual recreation of the “Happy Birthday Mr. President” scene. Perhaps the last white fox we see in the film is meant to suggest the events that transpire take place afterward. 

While you’re watching Anna De Armas in fur, the movie treats you to mental breakdowns and rapes, so yeah, it’s a bit of a downer. Like Norma Jean and Marylin, it offers about eight minutes of fur (and feathers), but it makes you pay for it. It makes you pay, and the extra runtime pushes the ratio down below 5%.

• Fur Runtime: approx 07:58 minutes
• Film Runtime: 166 minutes
• On-Screen Ratio: 4.80%

Find-a-Fur: Blonde, 2022

(all times are approximate and are affected by the cut of the film)

• 20:00 – white mink wrap
• 1:14:15 – white fox stole
• 1:18:30 – ”
• 1:30:30 – black mink coat
• 1:55:30 – black fox/feather? stole
• 2:04:00 – white fox wrap
• 2:13:00 – 18:00 – ”

Fur Fashion Gallery – Blonde, 2022